Friday, August 27, 2010

Do I believe in “... words don’t have the power to hurt you… unless the person who said it means a lot to you.”?



Somehow J. Russel Lynes said “If someone insults you… just ignore it, if you can’t ignore it, laugh at it… if can’t laugh at it off… you probably deserve it.

If I say, I like to be criticized, then it might be the half truth. Criticism hurts me a lot. But after being critically criticized by others, when I sit calmly in front of the quiet lawn or beneath the unruffled sky, I realized that this criticism is making me the person what I ever wanted to be. It is igniting the strength, it is rectifying me and it is triggering the desire to be complete.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

Yes, I do believe that every person can criticize irrespective of how and what extent that person is really able and wise to criticize. Probably, to criticize anything is one’s fundamental right. But it doesn’t mean that we should always pay a good attention to that kind of unwanted criticism. It should depend upon our own verdict that what criticism we should accept, irrespective of the criticizer.

Little bit lucidly, as for example, my dearest sister can easily, annoyingly and definitely irritatingly criticize me if I forgot to give her the “welcome flower” at the airport. But should I be hurt, should I consider her child-like arguments as the great insult and curse myself till the day lost its last sun-beam? Would it be a great idea to consider and reconsider and mull over the single and unnecessary event of the day?

Once again, slight imaginarily, suppose once upon a day I was traveling on my elder brother’s office car on the eve of the Durga Puja. The car had a “red light” blinking on its roof as my brother was the newly appointed District Magistrate of the district. The road was declared as “one way” to control the heavy traffic. My brother left us near his office and allowed us to get a view of the city. We, heavily enchanted, entered the wrong way. A Home-Guard stopped our car. I threatened the simple, unarmed and duty-bound Home-Guard by reminding him how he dared to stop a DM’s car! The simple man calmly said it is the rule which was settled and confirmed by the authority and law.
This was one of my greatest insults I have ever received in my life. I learned no one is above the law… I learned something about my faults… that’s why I termed it as an insult. This made me realized. Whenever I think about the incident, I feel ashamed. But, undoubtedly, I have great respect for the simple, unarmed and duty-bound Home-Guard.

The point, what I want to make here is that it doesn’t matter who the person is criticizing me… to me whether I am learning something about my faults from the criticism or not, it is the mantra.

And as all the poor, unwanted, unnecessary, idiotic, unwise, dull-headed criticism are concerned, I like to leave my forgiveness, pity and heart-felt compassion.

So, to me, neither the words nor the person can hurt me until and unless I really realize. This realization may come only by self-criticism. If I can’t criticize my self by my own then how will it be possible to make myself complete, errorless?

So, finally, however, this might sound as the “vicious cycle of criticism”, but I would like to say:

I want to be the ideal person in my own eyes. This will be possible only by continuous up-gradation of my thinking and self consciousness. Self consciousness will come from self criticism. I can criticize myself against the parameters of social laws, rituals, my own spirit and my education. And to be perfectly aware about these parameters I should pay attention to the all criticisms. But it doesn’t necessarily means I have to consider all of them. I have my own verdict and liberty to choose between the good and the bad, and definitely being truthful to my soul and spirit.

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